Expect the Best from a Girl.

That’s What You’ll Get.

Despite what pop psychologists claim, females and males are not from different planets.  In fact, studies show that girls and boys share an overwhelming number of characteristics.  They have the same capacity to succeed in reading, writing and mathematics.  And until puberty begins, they have similar physical development, so that coed teams before puberty would have as many outstanding girl stars as boy stars—assuming of course, that the two had comparable practice and coaching.  Contrary to public opinion, parents, rather than peers or the media, have the greatest influence on their daughter’s lives and life choices.  Expectations and experiences from family and community members are more likely to influence girls’ decisions than their innate abilities.  Differences in achievement come from different expectations for success and different experiences.

What parents can do at home:

ü      Your words are powerful and can influence attitudes and performance in school and at home.

ü      Suggest activities and experiences for girls that may be traditionally reserved for boys.

ü      Stereotypes are powerful.  Encourage girls, as well as boys, to question them.

ü      Praise your daughter for her skills and ideas rather than for her appearance and neatness.

ü      Resist rescuing girls or providing ready answers.  Research shows that this kind of “help” undermines girls’ confidence in their abilities.

ü      Encourage new, non-traditional thinking and methods of problem-solving.  Help foster an environment where girls know it’s acceptable to get sweaty and dirty in pursuit of a goal.

ü       Become a media critic and encourage that approach in your daughter.  Discuss with her the portrayals of girls and women on television, in movies, in magazines, and in popular music.  Does the media offer positive or negative role models for girls?  Explore the messages and assumptions that the media is sending.  These discussions provide ideal opportunities to explore the roles of girls and women in society.

(Excerpted from www.academic.org, the website of the Office of Communications, Mount Holyoke College. The information was prepared by the Women’s College Coalition, 125 Michigan Avenue, NE, Wash., DC  20017).

Shine

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.   Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, talented, fabulous?”  Actually, who are you not to be?  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.